We are falling. Yet again..

 

Where did we go wrong? What crucial thing did I miss?

To be back at square one of my life.

Right there. Bored, mad, revolted, deprived, hurt, hopeless.

I’m starting to think that I can never have a family. Well… not really anyway. My mum, she shouts at everyone, its horrifying. I can not wait to leave this house. This prison of destitution where all chaos call home.

Honestly, what was I thinking? That going to a new school would change everything? BULLSHIT. Nothing has changed. The yelling, the screaming, the tears and the fear. Not only do they haunt me but, they refuse to leave. When one battle is over another one has just begun, but when will war start?

I seldom believe in myself and when I did, that belief was quickly ripped off of me. I need a motivator not a translator and not a deceiver. I need a genuine believer. If you have the full support of your family and your friends, do not waste it. For it is them who bring you up and it will be them to also keep you down. Cockiness is profoundly insolent.

I hardly think that my household is a suitable place to raise children. What with all the screaming and all emotional misery, we tend to lose hope and cheerfulness. I am lucky that I was born cruel, unfeeling and a daydreamer. At least I still have my imagination to keep me going.

Perhaps, we can never choose our path in life… Perhaps we can not exactly make the right choice. Unless we try our best, we will never know. Is your given best, really your best? Can you actually do your best? Can you reach that limit? Is it possible? Perhaps.

For now, I would like to thank God for my life and all the Blessings He has given me. For the shelter, Health, Wealth, Family and Friends.

Here, I guess, is to appreciating what you have even though they cause you physical, emotional or mental pain.

Goodnight.

Examinations are like cows.

Exams are like a cows’ stomach that lost it’s cellulase enzyme.  We are the grass that it’s chewing, When it regurgitates and still can’t digest us, it vomits us out. We are left lying on the ground, smashed, destroyed and completely unaware of what had happened.

-hayani- 1.15pm 4/10/10

Yes, I wrote that during exam. Not just any exam, but during SEJARAH (history) exam :D

First Post :D

So, here I am. For the first time writing here. I feel nothing. You ain't special. XD
Moving on.

This , as I call it, my Sri aman blog. CAUSE, I moved school. Assunta ---> Sri Aman. The 'enemy' school. =.= Make peace not war dude..

Here. here. here. here. I am here. You are here. Why are you here? Why are you reading this? Why did you HAVE/want to check this link out? I don't know. I'm not you. Who are you?

Bear in mind that, I'm very open-minded. Sometimes overly. Others, minimally. It's inevitable. I am human. You are a human too. Or are you? >.<

I like yellow. Yellow colour, yellow shirts, yellow bottles, yellow yellow yellow. YEll OW! XD Whenever I see a yellow car, I MUST shout "Yellow car!!" I just have too. I don't know why.

Here, you will read about what I go through, my thoughts on certain things and sometimes what I feel about certain things or people. Whether good or bad.

I'm a hypocrite. I go against things like saying "we shouldn't question who we are because the answer is obvious. We are humans" but I question myself anyway. I give advice. But I never follow any of my own advice.

Okay. Now I'm late for choir practise. Till here then. Tata.

-hayani-