Politics in education. WHAT?! Oh you have to read this!

Darshenn, a KL school boy, compared his new mathematics and science marks to his old marks. He felt utterly betrayed and horrified. For a person who scored Straight A’s for UPSR, he had done very badly for his first test in high school because it was in Malay. “How could the government to this to me?!” He thought.

Rui ying, a student in a Chinese vernacular school who, as a norm, always scored straight A’s and never had any trouble during exams was struggling to answer her midterm science exams questions. She had not done well in the previous exam and had been scolded and caned.

Huda, is the daughter of a fisherman who is quite frankly speaking very annoyed by the change of language in her school syllabus and also annoyed at her very insular community. University syllabus is going to be in English. By right, math and science, especially secondary school, should be taught in English. She ignores her previous thought and starts learning History. Her thoughts are filled with Hitler and the Boston tea party then, she snaps back to reality. They are not a part of her history syllabus. She frets and tries to concentrate.

Hitam, a young teen living in the forest of Borneo who travels 3 miles a day on foot to get to school doesn’t understand why his mathematics changed to another language after he took all the trouble to learn the English language. He is about to give up.

Miranda, a Chindian mother who is worried about her children they do not know evens the slightest bit of general World History. She reminiscence her school days when they learnt about the hanging gardens of Babylon and fears her children will never know about these ancient wonders and history.

Education in the largest sense is any act or experience that has a formative effect on the mind, character, or physical ability of an individual. In its technical sense, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills, and values from one generation to another. As defined by Wikipedia.

Defined as a process by which groups of people make collective decisions or as a term that generally applies to the art or science of running governmental or state affairs by Wikipedia, Politics has a vast influence on the education in our beloved country. One can perceive that the word “politics” is, in fact, a very dirty word in Malaysia. Mention it and the look of disdain would be etched on most people’s faces. Mention it to your parents that you are interested to be a politician and I would guarantee that there would not be any family hugs and tears of happiness flowing.

What does politics has to do with education? Well, politics play the dominant influence in shaping the education policies of the country. Apparently when it comes to structural policy implementation, the interest of politicians comes first and interest of student comes last. Given the examples above, today I stress on the constant changing of mathematics and science in English to Malay and vice versa and the horrible history syllabus we have today.

Have you noticed, during every election, some politician will either promise to keep the education system in English or change it to Malay depending on the state? Well, I have. My feelings towards it are of despise and disgust. It shows that they make empty promises just to win the election and be done with it. They don’t care about us, about innocent students who have their minds and lives messed up with continual policy changes in education.

For havens sake, these politicians should make up their mind. Should they be willing to take the risk of losing some voters to make the education system better? In universities, Mathematics and science is taught in English. That’s why in 2002, Educationist at large breathed a sigh of relief when a glimmer of hope was seen in the introduction of English in the teaching of Mathematics and Science in English but that quickly disappeared when the policy was scrapped in 2009 and both critical subjects will be taught in Malay in 2012. What was alarming was that pressure from political extremist groups and language purists and NGO’s from both sides of the divide was successful in influencing the government in disbanding this policy. It is disheartening is that these groups seem to know more about language policies than educationists and reformists in the field. These insular people are actually the catalyst of the change.

On the other hand we have the History syllabus.

On the 15^th of May 2011 a group of scholars and non-governmental organisations (NGO) pushing for greater accuracy in history textbooks for secondary school students gathered for the first time.

-The Malaysian Insider-

The term ‘greater accuracy’ amuses me here. Does that mean that we have been learning History that is not accurate or more importantly true?! Here is another bad effect about politics in education. The government will try to brainwash us into thinking that they are such saints and that they have saved us from injustice. When they themselves were the cause of all the chaos in the first place. In our history syllabus there are terms referencing to instil patriotism. These terms should been in our textbooks if they had wanted us to learn factual and truthful history or are they afraid of letting us know the truth.

If we are to compare the History syllabus of our beloved country and other developed countries, we can see that the other countries actually teach the students there not only their countries history but also general world history. This means that the other nation students are better equipped with facing the world as a whole than us. Before our past education minister, whose name I will not mention to avoid any controversy, changed our History syllabus, we were just like the other nations. We learnt about Hitler, the hanging gardens of Babylon etc. but that was all in the past. During my 46 year old mothers time I’d say. Now the only History we’re learning is how miserable we were before Independence. In my point of view, we actually must thank the British for what we have today. People who dare to Speak out.

The influence of politics in our education system can be seen as pathetic or disgraceful! The education body of our country should be an entirely different body from politics so as it would not be used for the ease of winning elections. Think about the students. Think about the future. Education is no flimsy matter.

Written by

Hanida Hayani Ishan

Want but Cannot

I want to write about you so much.

But I really cannot find the words.

To describe how amazing you are,

have always been

and will always be.

I want to describe him. I want to tell myself how I have always felt about him. I can’t. You will know soon dear reader. You will :)

I will share this over-whelming happiness.

Best friends and boy friends

I have come to the point of my life where i could care less about what other people say about me. They knew me in the past and what I am now is different.

 

I have also realised that there is no such thing as a best friend. The reason to that is all of them no matter how nice or what you have been through together will and shall betray you. Whether by spreading vicious rumours about you, stealing your crush or just plain ignores you, they will hurt you.

 

To concour with that, I find that there is also no such thing as a guy best friend for a girl. To this the logic is simple. No matter how tomboy-ish you are or how hard you try, you will never understand him because, he is just not going to be open to you the way you would like him to be. Other than that, as a rule, boys prefer boys. They have a “bro-code”. No matter how long you have know him and no matter what you have been through. The “bros in the Bro-code” comes first. The girl is known as a hoe. Like the saying, bros before hoes. Also, one of you might fall for the other (worst case scenario).

You might be wondering or even frustrated of how I am treating my friends at this moment or with this blog post but the thing is, I feel so alone right now that I do not care. Why would I? They don’t care about me when I am unhappy. It is only the happiness that they want me to share.

Adam Jalil

  He has hazel flecked eyes and a laid back nature. Those eyes though, has seen love and heart break. How he can still be merry , I do not know but his life goes on… Like how the sun chases the moon, he chases acceptance in this cruel hard world. He is not alone though he is lonely. No, I will not let him be alone. For lonely is so lonely alone. His fingers gently pluck the string of his well used guitar and he sings songs of sorrow and anger. As poetic as I can be, rhymes will not , shall not and will never be able to define him. A beautiful soul, a generous heart, an almost perfect human being. Never let yourself go Adam, unless you are sure she is worthy

-Hayani-

Black–listed

Do you know me? I bet you do not. Most people only think they know their friends and or family. Truth is you only know what those individuals want you to know.

You do not know me. Nobody does. I do not understand it myself but I can make a wild attempt at trying to explain it.

You see, I am and have always been a fickle minded person.

I am a Scorpio. My emotions are intense.

What I want and what I need are two very different things.  When I say I need something, I really mean I want. When I say I want something does not necessarily mean I need it. I do not know what I need yet, I do know. I perhaps, just refuse to acknowledge it.

I walk my road not exactly alone but lonely.

In a snap , I can tell you my lifes’ story without crying. I am all out of tears on that topic, BUT if you ask me more and more intricately. I just might shed tears. Everyone is acquainted with me but nobody knows everything about me. Nobody, mark my word for it.

I lie to myself. So, even I do not know myself.

The things I do no matter how weird, odd, eccentric, cheery, loud or ominous are just another mask and habit I have. I do not fancy letting people feel the way I do. Lonely, betrayed and invaded.

I like to entertain.

You could say that, I am like a clown. All smiles but when you remove the makeup, you see wrinkles, worries, frowns, regrets, despair. Runaway brides are very pitiful but not as pitiful as runaway grooms.  Poor unsuspecting bride to be :(

 

Yes, I am a Hypocrite.

Deal with it. I had to deal with my fathers’ hypocritical state. So , you will deal with mine.

I' have had enough of writing today.

All emotional because of my 89% for SPM English Trial Exam. Sucks to be me. No worries, I WILL MEMORISE THE WHOLE BLOODY THESAURUS OR DIE TRYING.

Lately

Tired, even when asleep; I no longer find solace in sleep.

                               -Megat Othman Denney-

Some of you might wonder why I quote this particular guys’ words a lot. Thing is I can relate to his words. Be it taken from somewhere or his own.

I have not been sleeping easily lately. I have been having nightmares. The most odd nightmares would be about the virgin Mary, losing half a tooth and being buried alive.

You should know by now that i neither see the glass half filled or half empty.

I do not exactly like having dreams like these. They make me feel down-hearted and trodden all over. They make me , aside from my already conflagrant nature, really grumpy and unsociable. I keep quite and have a stare contest with any willing victim. For example : Farah Nadhirah. I just stared at her straight for 15 minutes before our Physics exam started.

Some, call it insomnia but the proper definition of insomnia is difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep. I do stay asleep. I just wakeup feeling unrested. Hence , the quote.

In the darkness, I awaken,

Crying at my thoughts ; forsaken,

What now? What then? What’s more?

Torturing me to my core.

                    -Hayani-

 

Perhaps, these dreams will stop soon. If they do not, I might just go insane.

Guilty Pleasures = Friends

So how was your Eid Mubarak everyone? Mine was voluptuous ;) HAHA. Get my fling?

Okay I think I’m done being lame.

So I went to THREE awesome humans open house this year.

First, Hadi Iskandar.

Truth be told, I did not exactly know him personally but i was one of only three girls he invited. So, due to the over-whelming feeling I had, I went and had a blast!

I was actually the first one to come ON TIME. Like 12 pm sharp i was at his gate tau. So cool of me XD HADI HAD REALLY GOOD TASTING RAINBOW CAKE! I wanted to ask him about what cake it was tapi malu laa XD

I officially met his girlfriend too <3 Teehee. They look good together :)

Second, Matiin Rahman aka The Great PEDOBEAR!

So, after Hadi’s house Arshad, Adam and I hopped into Arshad and I’s karate masters’ car and headed to Matiins’ (matt) house. Inevitably as usual, we got lost. Why? BECAUSE WE DIDN’T HAVE HIS ADDRESS AND ADAM FORGOT WHERE MATTS HOUSE WAS. YAY!

So Sensei dropped us off at Sri Aman Girl School and we walked from there with directions from Ali Redha , who was on a motorbike.

Susah nak pergi rumah Matt. Tapi it was worth it. I had a blast. Half of the Bombastics were there! We talked and talked and talked and gossip a bit then talked some more. All that time, Nik, who sat next to me was blabbering about Nasi Dagang. He talked about Nasi Dagang for about 3 hours –.-“ Haih gotta love him.

We then walked to the KK Mart across the road from Matts’ house to grab a popsicle, thats when Yasmin and Ariff’s mother came. I tagged along and their mother sent me home. The comic thing is that, Arshad came too, he didn’t actually know them XD We sent him home anyways . HAHA

The third would be Ali Redha Azizans’ !

The invite to this open house was also an unexpected one. Well, He invited me at Matiins open house which was a day before his open house. Very last minute. Very male :D

I have got to admit that his open house is a very memorable one for me. I went around 6pm. Guess what we did?!

WE PLAYED SCRABBLE TWICE

Lepas tu kan.. kita makan makan makanan yang teramat sedap. His mothers’ Lasagna , Cream puff, Orange + Ginger ale drink and Chicken puff <3 . Oh and a dish with broccoli in it. I forgot the name. XD Hayani ate a lot tapi berat tak naik pun :D

After that we played… Ali’s X-Box.

WEIH PELIK TAU LARI HURDLES SETEMPAT. TENGOK ALI LARI SETEMPAT PUN LAWAK GILA DOWH

Yeah. I have never seen an X-box before. So I jakun lah kan XD Lepas tu, We watched Austin Powers HAHA. Nak tau tak pukul berapa I balik? HAHA Pukul 9.30pm tau. Hayani sangat cool (Y) –.-“

So those are the open houses I went too so far :D If I go to anymore I’ll be sure post a tribute to it, but for now,

Tata.

An original song.

It is supposed to be heavy on the bass with some Arabic and dark features here and there. Let the melody be Muse inspired for in this writers head , it sounds like Muse. Alert me if you have a melody!

   Someday perhaps one day.

I would like to start a revolution,

to let the cynics be left in destitution

Let them bleed tears of regret

They whom said our world ; incorrect.

 

Let them suffer as they made us,

Let them see the mess they have made,

Let them see the deaths that they have caused,

Let them feel the pang of our loss.

Toss them, chop them, churn them,

Kill them.

 

Change the world and make it kind,

Make the change,

You will shine ~

Break the barriers of humankind,

Let the cynics be left behind.

 

The world is very much divine,

Though they will disagree,

But it is fine,

I’ll take the world and make it mine.

 

Let them suffer as they made us,

Let them see the mess they have made,

Let them see the deaths that they have caused,

Let them feel the pang of our loss.

Toss them, chop them, churn them,

Kill them.

 

In the end, let them see,

The better world without their sneers,

In the end, let them know,

That for them the time is near.

 

Give up, give up , give up.

Make them listen.

That their end is near.

 

Written by Hayani

Copy-righted by deviantart

Rivers

She had poetry in her eyes, stunning and conflagrant in so many manners. Resplendent daydreams spilled from her mouth, aesthetically winding in the air and shaping her lips into a radiant beam. Her name was Lisa. Her very being, made me feel more than slight disdain at myself. She was almost perfect. She was my best friend.

Now Lisa was a queer adolescent. When everyone was busy gossiping she would have already known the whole story, when everyone was wearing miniskirts, she had already passed that phase of her life and moved on to pretty short dresses with boots. She was the type of girl you would find wandering in the forest, acting as if nothing was wrong with the world. She was wrong! Everything was wrong with the world. She said, “Adam, let me tell you that on earth nature is the kindest.” From there, she went on and on about how still rivers run deep and the magic in every bird’s voice. She trusted nature. Now, I am lying here, next to the water where I last saw her, writing my woes because of her. Because of Lisa…

“Hey Adam! You’re going to Mount Kinahua right?” She asked me exactly two years, three months and 13 days ago. She was wearing her bright red boots that everyone hated, but made her toes feel nice and tingly. How could I have said no? Her beautiful smile had me breathless. I loved her then and I still love her now. Truth is my father drowned in a river at the same mountain we were going too.

We boarded the school bus and started our journey to the perilous Mount Kinahua. Lisa chattered the whole way while I just listened. I loved listening to her talk. Her voice sounded like Sunday morning chimes mixed with the suns bright grandeur and a touch of midnight’s loneliness. Four hours into the journey, we stopped to stretch our legs and to grab a bite to eat. Just like a movie, we abruptly stopped at a majestic waterfall. Her eagerness over-ruled my nonchalance at the ear splitting sound of the waterfalls’ water crashing unto the sharp-edged stones below it. Lisa was irritating. However, someone somewhere once said that irritation meant love.

Her free spirit led us to explore the forest around the waterfall and the river it originated. We remembered our hunger as we were spying on spawning frogs. Being the dominant teen that she was, she ordered me to get our food from the school bus. As usual, I reluctantly did.

“ Adam! Go get our food! Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. They’re just frogs in a river bedded with sand. Honestly, people would think that you’re my mother in disguise fretting over me like that!”

“But Lisa… I just don’t want you to get hurt. Why not we go together?”

“Are you afraid of walking in the forest in broad daylight alone, Adam? Just trust Nature, She’ll protect you.”

“I am not afraid! I worry about you, Lisa, you’re too carefree. Promise me you will stay right here. No climbing trees or chasing after any sort of animal. Alright?”

“Yes, yes. Just go get our food will you, silly Adam?”

Some things are too good to be true to last.

I, quite literally sprinted to the bus to get our food. As I was just about to leave the bus, it happened.

A loud shriek and then nothing.

I dropped the food and dashed towards the opening I left Lisa. She was not there! I panicked. Where was she? Could she have fallen off a tree? NO, she was nowhere to be seen on the ground. She could not have been dragged by the water, the river was too still. Still river? That was when it hit me! Lisa could have drowned. By that time the whole bus had gathered at the opening. Everyone was searching for Lisa. We searched for more than 2 hours.

Everyone was about to give up when I saw a little bit of yellow and pink in the water. It turned out to be one of Lisa’s hair beads. Images of her soft curly blonde hair and gentle but vibrant eyes came to my mind. Lisa was in the water somewhere. Myren was the first one to react, he traced the bead to some sort of yellow weed in the river but I knew better. That so-called yellow weed had pink highlights just like Lisa’s hair. We dug her up then realised that a few meters from us, the riverbed was a lot deeper and a part of it had collapsed. As I carried her lifeless body to the riverbank, the birds were singing a very melancholy tune.

Lisa had trusted nature, she had loved still rivers and she had adored the bird’s tune. Now, nature had eaten her up whole and the birds were singing, perhaps singing their morbid song.

She is dead. She is gone. Taken by the very thing she had trusted and loved most.

Now as I walk to the edge of the waterfall on this very clear summer day. I say I am not worthy of this world any longer. I say that nature was not worthy of your love, Lisa my dearest.

The sun is high.

Dearest Lisa,

Under every cut - throat sun, I will love you forever and only you, only the distant you will ever know my song, for the ebb and flow of what you know, is everything that I am. Without you, I do not want to live in this gruesome and untrustworthy world. May I see you in the after world, my Lisa, my angel, my only…

We are falling. Yet again..

 

Where did we go wrong? What crucial thing did I miss?

To be back at square one of my life.

Right there. Bored, mad, revolted, deprived, hurt, hopeless.

I’m starting to think that I can never have a family. Well… not really anyway. My mum, she shouts at everyone, its horrifying. I can not wait to leave this house. This prison of destitution where all chaos call home.

Honestly, what was I thinking? That going to a new school would change everything? BULLSHIT. Nothing has changed. The yelling, the screaming, the tears and the fear. Not only do they haunt me but, they refuse to leave. When one battle is over another one has just begun, but when will war start?

I seldom believe in myself and when I did, that belief was quickly ripped off of me. I need a motivator not a translator and not a deceiver. I need a genuine believer. If you have the full support of your family and your friends, do not waste it. For it is them who bring you up and it will be them to also keep you down. Cockiness is profoundly insolent.

I hardly think that my household is a suitable place to raise children. What with all the screaming and all emotional misery, we tend to lose hope and cheerfulness. I am lucky that I was born cruel, unfeeling and a daydreamer. At least I still have my imagination to keep me going.

Perhaps, we can never choose our path in life… Perhaps we can not exactly make the right choice. Unless we try our best, we will never know. Is your given best, really your best? Can you actually do your best? Can you reach that limit? Is it possible? Perhaps.

For now, I would like to thank God for my life and all the Blessings He has given me. For the shelter, Health, Wealth, Family and Friends.

Here, I guess, is to appreciating what you have even though they cause you physical, emotional or mental pain.

Goodnight.

Reality

As I am typing this, I’ve exactly 116 days and 11 hours before SPM starts. Oh who cares. Its just my life, not yours (:

Though SPM is near and no matter how hard i try to conceal my worry for it, it is blatant that i do care and am worried about my fate. (c’mon i actually counted the hours) At my current state… I am not even fit to sit for a UPSR exam. I can hardly do any math.

Moreover, i am drifting away and i worry about myself. I feel alone. Yet again.

My brothers… i feel as though they’ve deserted me. I don’t blame them. I haven’t been much of a friend or a person in fact. I have been going against my own wishes. I do not have the mood to be happy. I feel quaint. That’s the word for it. Quaint.

I fear failure but yet, i feel as though i should not care for it and so, I do not. I don’t want to excel math or biology or chemistry or any other form of science. I just really want to be me.

I don’t exactly know who am I or what ‘me’ is, but i do have an idea of it. My outside is a warm, spunky and crazy nature. If you look beyond that, you might just find a troubled and mysterious teen. No worries, the angst is almost all gone.

 

See the picture above? ^

Well i am the second. Wanting to be free, yet something is holding me back. What is it? The expectation of my mother? My self pride? honour? WHAT? Perhaps… all of the above. Truth is, I don’t know what to do anymore. whether to make my mum proud or myself happy.

 

My foes’ throw hoes’ to get me at my lowest. I knew moving to a new school would be hard. Who knew that settling in wasn’t the problem but getting others to settle with you is hard. I do have a gang of ‘Miss perfects’ hating me. What to do? They are so perfect, they can do and have whatever they want. Not in my point of view buddy. I have a good friend. They want my good friend to be with one of them. Well they can’t have my good friend. They’re creepy. Enough said. Seriously. C.R.E.E.P.Y. creepy.<--- I’m still stuck here.

My studies haven’t been going so well either. I just can’t concentrate. I can’t focus. I just want to daze and daydream. I don’t know why. Don’t ask. I DON’T KNOW WHY. OKAY. I don’t want anything. I just… I don’t know. I don’t want anything. I guess, I am fed up with the world.

I really want to make my family proud of me but they treat me unequally which makes me just want to disappear, run away and or blow up at them. I’m mad at my family. I feel as though i don’t matter to them and that might very well be true. You see, I don’t really fit in with them. My stepfather is too young for me to respect. I absolutely detest his family. My mother, acts like I am invisible when she does not need me. When she does, she acts like I am so irresponsible. I mean, come on, I am a teenager. I took care of my sisters when she went to Spain and the first thing she did when she got back was yell at me.

It is just frustrating

Complaints of an Odd Child

The Production Team <3

Ritz Darwin aka my first Brother <3

Some random person

 

Sorry . I just thought my blog needed some pictures XD

My mums wedding is today so….

I was thinking. Is she had not met this guy she’s marrying then i would still probably have my dad. My sister would be way more disciplined and I wouldn’t be sobbing most of the time.

On the other hand, if she had not met this guy, my sisters won’t be so happy-go-lucky. They would also see the world in a different perspective. They would see the world how I see it. Bitter and cruel yet beautiful.

I miss my father. How can I not? He thought me the most important things I have in my life right now. The things that actually keeps me sane. But there was that issue of him wanting me dead. So I am in a way a confused and troubled teen?

I am dead serious. I do not show how I really feel most of the time and when I do, I pull my mask back on and hold my head high. Perhaps I am the problem to myself?

My Procrastination to solving this problem is getting way over board. I should really just Forget and look on the yellow side.

I cannot. I think too much.

Must get ready for the wedding now. Tata (:

A Post To YOU. The Perfect Girl.

Dear Perfect Girl,

My best friend has this tagline “forever alone”. I’d like him to delete this tagline and know and feel that he is loved. I love him but platonically. He needs YOU dear Perfect girl, to share things that he cannot even share with me. His best friend.

I’m tired of all his tries to find you. So, I’m here to let you know that if you’re out there, he is here. Now, perhaps that he has found you and you are just taking time to say yes to him.

Now, I’m not saying that you should get married to him or what but I think that you should at least ease his pain by giving him a chance and stop the waiting (;

I want him happy and I would like to see him happy with a person he loves. Who would love him back and be with him through thick and thin. I want him to shine. I want him to be more than content. I want him to be with you. I am ready to let him go whenever you are ready to take him.

So come.

Sincerely,
A worried friend.

Eruption

The question why.

“if the existence of complex entities in this world must be explained by appealing to the existence of an intelligent designer, then the existence of such an intelligent designer, it seems, must in turn be explained by appealing to the existence of another intelligent designer, and so on ad infinitum. In other words, God requires an explanation as well, so postulating the existence of a creator God to explain our world is merely taking things one step back. The design argument therefore fails. “

On the argument above i quoted Adam Collins. Why are we here?

Why are we made to suffer, love, feel, eat, drink, LIVE? why?

What is the purpose?

Think about it.

A cool article i want to share :D

6 Reasons Why Men Benefit From a Female Friend

Posted by Alexandra Carey on November 5, 2010, filed in: Dating Advice, Dating Tips

Many people believe that a real friendship between a man and a woman cannot exist, but I would argue quite the opposite.  For a woman, it is refreshing to have a platonic male companion.  She can get all the benefits of a boyfriend, but without the drama of a relationship.  If the man can get passed any sexual tension, he can seriously reap the benefits of her company.   It’s like baby steps towards a better man… Here’s hoping.

1. She offers perspective.

It’s no news that men are sometimes a little confused about women.  Why they’re mad, what it really means when they say “nothing”, or why they don’t seem impressed with the expensive takeout you brought home when you were supposed to take her to dinner.  She’ll give you insight to women’s’ “crazy” mind and hopefully help prevent any confusion in your future.

2. She has hot friends for you.

She can talk you up to our hot, single girlfriends.   She can tell them how you’re so sweet, how much success you’ve had in your career and what a catch you are.  All you have to do is show up, the work is already done because she can have her friends curious about you.  She can also be the ultimate wingman and introduce you to new women, saying all the right things and only picking out the hottest ones.

3. She will tell you straight up.

I think when men spend too much time with other men, they risk the slight chance of  forgetting what is always morally sound.  That’s where the female friend comes in.  She will have no problem treating you like a son at this very moment, so slapping you on the back of your head and calling you an idiot usually does the trick.  She can also give her opinions on the girls you’re dating or trying to date.  She will help you understand why the stripper with the huge boobs and perfect ass is not marriage material.

4. She can help you communicate.

Women communicate much better than men, its just a fact.  Women are in tune with their emotions, they talk things out and open up to one another.   When you’re around a girl that’s only a friend, you can open up and (gulp) be sensitive around her.  You even feel comfortable (double gulp) discussing your feelings without the judgment you would get from your buddies.  Just imagine her as practice for the real thing… (triple gulp) intimacy.

5. She makes you look attractive to other women.

When a man has girls as good friends, it shows that they are capable of having friendships with women that are not based on sex.  Sure, sometimes men might think about it, but the fact that they don’t act on it says a lot about him and what he finds important.  As long as your new girl is not insecure, she will appreciate your platonic female BFF.

6. You‘ll always have a date for an event.

Most of the time, a man wants a date to couple’s events like a dinner party or a wedding.  This is where having a girl that’s just a friend comes in handy.  She can fill that void for you without you having to worry about her wondering “where this is going” and if its getting serious.  She’ll just be your hot arm candy for the night, giving you a drinking buddy and a dance partner with no strings attached.

---

Blink

In just a blink, my lifes’ gone by,

A lil’ bit faster than a teenage lie,

Too fast , too slow , too little flow,

Too much, too little, too fast we go.

 

Love and trust and pixie dust,

Our imaginations are left to rust,

Faster cars and legitimate scars,

War; Even under the stars.

 

Knives, Whips, Chains and Blades,

Everything becomes a haze,

In just a blink; Life is gone.

We all start being forlorn.

 

Amethyst green & sapphire blue,

Start asking what is true,

What is reality and what is fantasy?

In the end, nothing is new.

         

26/4/11 Written during math .

 

I AM SO COOL!

Okay back to life :p

Currently experiencing midterms. They are such a bore. Questions after questions. Some say that they are hard. But i don’t feel anything. They’re just questions. I’m not going to let questions that has already been answered by some scientist bother me. Its already out there. Why do you need to answer it? XD

Just sleep. Its better for your health! :D

 

Wanted : The Wanted <3

My taste in music is odd and depends on my mood buuuut these boys caught my eye, ears, HEART. They’re cute I love their accent.

The Bald one reminds me of my step dad XD BALD BRONZE AND BUFF. My mums type (:

Hayani likes Nathan because of his hair cut! I’m going to cut my hair like that!

Hell Yeah!

She will be loved

There's no sparkle in your eyes,
Did you see your demise?
Smiles are your lies,
I'll help you succeed your tries. (:

Don’t give up. Happiness will be yours! Darling I’m here for you even if the whole world turns against you.

We will win this!

WE WILL GO TO MAROON 5!

WE WILL GET ADAM LEVIGNE TO SIGN OUR JEANS AT THE THIGH ;)

WE WILL WE WILL.

 

I really need to go to Maroon 5s’ concert.

SOMEBODY BUY ME A TICKET!

Dependence

I am never single and available.

I am always always always the one alone.

I am the girl sitting next to the ‘it’ girl

I am the breeze before snow,

I am in the shadows of the alley,

I am the still river of the valley.

 

I am a bird with tattered wings,

I am a tenant with overdue-d rent,

I am the bad graffiti on the wall,

I am a plane; about to fall.

I am the storm after the thunder,

I am the cause of all your blunders.

 

I am the one with all the pain,

I am the one without any gain,

I am always number two,

I am the sitting next to you,

 

I am the one they call a freak,

I am the one taking all the shit,

But still.

I am the one loyal and true,

because; I am the one loving you

 

Written by Hayani ( 13/4/11 : 19:59)

I cannot say that word.

Last Monday, i promised myself that i would not say the ‘F’ word anymore. So , I’ve said it like what 10 times?

Hey thats a record!

I used to say that four letter word everyday for at least 10 times. Seriously. Don’t believe me? Ask Anna. Before sitting next to me, Anna hardly swore. After the first week, AHAHAHAHA, this is how she goes “ Hunny, Look at robert pattison! He’s fucking hot! I’d want him to fuck me!”

I’m gonna lose it soon. I MUST SAY IT. Ever since i ‘stopped’ saying it, well, saya berasa sangat pilu.. so since I can’t say it… might as well type it!

heeyy i saw a fucker fucking a fuck next to a fucking firefuck. AHAHAHAHAH No it doesn’t make me feel better. kay I feel dirty. I’m going to wash my fingers with dettol cause i typed it now. –.-

Why don’t I want to way it?

1. I want to lessen my sins.

2. That word means making love. By using it as crudity, its like vandalising the English language. Like saying ‘Fuck that bitch’ = “Make love to that female dog”. get it?

yes yes. I am the epitome of strange. Now, i’m leaving to go to tuition Goodbye :P

A Poem :D For Azims’ curiosity

You say you’re hurt,                   

You say you’re in agony,                                                            

But you’ve never been hurt,   

Enough to lose your sympathy.

 

Your life is bad ; Your life is horrid,

You’ve always had rice , instead of porridge!

Complain here, complain there,

Just you wait; I’ll give you despair.

 

You bloody insular fool!

You don’t have to duel,

Just sit and keep quiet,

If you talk, I’ll give you a riot.

 

You reprove everyone for your mistakes,

You did, without minding my reprisal,

So here, I stand my sentiments,

And you? You ran. You tactless imbecile.

 

You cowardly man.

I will make you watch,

I have become, what I cannot be.

I will never set you free.

 

All rights reserved www.deviantart.com

I haven’t been writing so, my style and rhyme is horrid.

Worries :O

Lately, I’ve been worried about many things.

For example like the upcoming Musical Production that I am directing. We had an audition on monday and I must say , very , very few Sri Amanians can act.

Other than that there’s also quite a few people who worry me. I mean I’m not their mother or what but I do care for them.

Muhammad Azim ‘Carrots’

He worries me. Like what if suddenly he runs again and his phone battery is dead and i can’t pick him up. Or if I’m not around. DUDE, I can go nuts. But whatever lah. He’s a dude, he can take care of himself right? –.- I just hope he doesn’t get kidnapped, gang raped or hurt in any way possible.

Adline Anissha Joachim

She worries me like hell. She’s extremely emo. I mean I was like that but not to the point of thinking to electrocute myself. Cutting is normal. Other than that, she doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep. Morning, pergi main Football then do olahraga. Can die actually. I feel like shaking her and scream ‘ WAKE UP! THERES THE WORLD TO SEE! TREES TO CLIMB ! MOUNTAINS TO CONQURE! WE PROMISED WE’D GO BUNGEE JUMPING TOGETHER REMEMBER??!’ Yeah, i might just do that soon, then I’ll hug her. *worries*

Muhd. Danial ‘Dano’ Akmal

This is a different worry. I love this guy. He’s my REALLY GOOD AND CLOSE friend. He has taught me so much. Rescued me from many attempts at suicide. Now I fear that we’re drifting. I fear that I’ll lose him as a friend. I don’t want that. I need him. He’s my Jerry, barney (Stinson), He’s my Bino Bambeeno. Dude, he gave me LIFE. Literally. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. Doesn’t asks me to chill out with him. He just goes to the others. I feel so deserted. Like a cactus. I miss him terribly. I miss talking to him. I miss running from him for fear he might grope me. I MISS DANO.

I also worry about myself. I usually find myself so weak and tired. no spirits. No laughter. No smiles. Nothing. I just stare into space. When I wake , i usually find myself crying or aching all over. I wear my mask so easily. Like my classmate says, I belong in the drama club. I have no mood to study. No enthusiasm. No curiosity. I feel so plain. I want to sleep but I can’t. I can’t taste food. I just put the food in my mouth and swallow because i don’t want my mum to notice. I feel sad and lonely.

Go on, say it. “ You’re not alone, I’m here!” hey, thats not what I meant. I am NOT alone. I’m just lonely. And I feel like I’ve no intention in life. I don’t know what to do, to be, to see, and to feel. I need guidance but no one has the time to give that to me.

I need an adrenaline rush.

Poetry

I find that I’ve been writing poetry again. The reason behind this might be because I’ve something to write about.

What is it? Well, my break up –____-“ and a few other boys who I am really fed up with.

There’s a wimp called Ihsan (who is actually a friend of mine) well, he says everything in his life is bad. Thing is everything he goes through, i went through it too. I’m just tired of him feeling too much. Dude, stop. Just stop. Feel the moment. Feel the vibration of all the air molecules and sound waves EVERYTHING. Just stop and enjoy the detailed world. There’s more to life than anime and self – pity.

Then there’s my ex. He goes on and on and on about how his new girlfriend is so great (yes, the same girl he cheated on me with) but then he still complains about how tough everything is and how he doesn’t have time. HEY LOSER, you’re in college! You’ve all the time in the world. You only have to study TWO subjects and your homework is so minimal you can finish it in 10 minutes! Just pay attention in class you moron.

Also there’s Anna. Gosh i love that woman. I wrote a poem about her and how innocent and romantic she is. I will never show it to her though, She’ll blush like mad and will start yelling at me cause i remind her too much of her crush –.- Strange . Well, lets just say that she clicks well with very WEIRD people like.. oh i don’t know.. ME.

Lastly, The landlady, Yeap, the very character I played for SHORTS! I wrote , for the first time, an erotic poem. About an older person admiring a teenager. I KNOW ITS TERRIBLE. What kind of sick person would write about that right? Well…… XD

Should I post my poetry ?

Half-time

So, lately I’ve been thinking about my sexuality.

I confess to you (myself) that I am blatantly not a straight woman. Nay, I am the ever-so controversial bisexual. My best friend is a guy. I think he’s disgusting. Odd? I don’t think so. You see, I saw his face everyday for one whole week, slept nest to him at Cameron Highlands, watched star wars with him and watched men gymnastics when we were supposed to watch football. GAY EH?

Point here is, that I think what I’m doing is wrong. I shouldn’t be bisexual. I should be straight. I can get boys. Its not exactly a problem –.-“ But then I think… I can get girls too. The situation is awkward. I’m in a girl school.

I think I’m influenced by Dano. AAHAHA funny? no. He looks at women and their assets. I turn bi again because i started to re-appreciate women beauty.

NO. I don’t see my beauty. I contradict people when they say I’m easy on the eyes. No. Stop lying.

ANYWAYS. I’m bisexual. I like a girl. I also like a boy. Please understand my deviation. I’m human too.

Goodnight (:

Oblivion

A wise man once said that a hypocrite is the person judging. we judged. Our love is a platonic one.

How apathetic you looked when i first met you. How blur and eccentric. For a person who used a math book to write English essays, you were incredibly witty when it came to jokes and mathematics. oh, ostentatious I thought you were. Definitely to stay away from. Definitely trouble and angst.

Fate said otherwise though, the minute we started talking, we couldn’t stop. Soon enough, after every tuition class we’d spend time talking to each other outside while waiting for our ride home. Soon enough we became really good friends.

I’m not so sure how you became my best friend darl, but I know how we got close It was on msn XD then my raya open house. We click so well. But I guess, what made us best friends was the week that I SAW YOUR UGLY FACE EVERY BLOODY DAY and that was my birthday week (: You planned a surprise party for me. haiiihhh. It made my world . It really did . I’m not lying, bitch.

In conjunction to that there’s also new years.Gosh I remember how pathetic you were. You called to say that you ran away from home. That was so close to midnight. I was all the way in ipoh attending a wedding. I was so worried and as they say, what you do during new years eve till new years day , that’s what you’ll be doing the whole year. I find that statement so true because YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW HOW TO WORRY ME ALL THE TIME, BEST FRIEND.

Then , there was also your ex – girlfriend and my ex – boyfriend. I hated her. You had a bad feeling about him. We never told each other until it was over. Now what we learned was always tell each other cause WE BOTH HAVE GAY-MATERNAL INSTINCTS for each other <3 awwwww we’re so sweet , can die. If you’re reading this, please understand that I think my attachment to him was definitely deeper than yours to her. I guess mine was too full of passion and yours, ignorance. LETS TELL EACH OTHER NEXT TIME. NOW, i command you to love your current girlfriend because she’s the one i wanted you to be with all along ever since i introduced you people! OKAY?!

Other than that, there’s also 2 days in Cameron Highlands. Me with a sick heart and you with a cold XD haihhh, the sunrise that day was really pathetic. We didn’t get to see the sun at all ! XD But we did talk. A lot. Too much, too little. I don’t know. But I’d gladly do it again because of the trees i saw  

Hey best friend,

You really are different and an ass. Then again, that’s why we click so well. I’m different and an ass too , to you right? –.- Well, lets look out for each other eh?

You’re like family now. I can’t imagine living my life without you. You’re too BLEAH. I see orange and think of you. I EAT , DRINK AND BAKE carrots while smiling cause i know you’re hurting because you are carrots XD

Then, there’s always the YELLOW CURSE following us. I LOVE It. You want to damn it to hell. But hey, if i can take on carrots, you can take on yellow. We’re too cool like that XD

By the way, you are lame. I don’t know why you’re my best friend since you’re lame but you are LAME LAME LAME LAMEOOOO . You lame-nista, lame-uel, Lame-khan, LAME. Not forgetting about retarded. HAHA

Well, king of chemisery, I’m done here. Can’t believe i wasted my time writing about you. Fine maybe i shouldn’t reprove you of my writing. It is after all my time. Well, this just shows how lucky you are to have a tree.

byee~ (:

p.s : I love you best friend. Don’t you dare deform my yellow or trees. Your balls will lose all of its sperms and your sperm duct will cease to work. I am not joking

P.S.S : BARNEY STINSON FTW.

Matters of lust.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in love, fell out of love or never felt love. What matters is your own identity. Before you love someone, you have to love yourself. To give yourself away to a person means that you are confident that no matter what that person does to you, you will never lose your self respect. Nor will you ever stop loving your own self.

Don’t be fooled by the men around you. Especially teenage boys. All they want from girls is to quench their thirst for lust. They say ‘I Love You’ but they never mean it. These boys will do anything to get into your pants/skirts. Maybe not literally but they’ll just make you fall hard with touch and passionate kisses. You lust for them too. So don’t use your heart girls. Not until you’re 24 years old. Date? Go ahead. Just don’t fall in love. Its not real. Its just puppy/lustful love.

No warning Signs, No alibis.

He came and went like a hurricane. I thought he cared, I thought he had soul , I thought I had his heart. No, I was horribly wrong. I was unprepared for what awaited me. LOL

Form 5 is extremely stressful!

Sri Aman is stressful.

Form 5 IN Sri Aman = Mother of mofo-ing mofos, stressful (:

I ain’t complaining. I’m always stressed. It’s my way of life. XD

There’s a drama coming up! Its called SHORTS! I’m acting in it! :D

I’m acting in The Landlady as the landlady (: Awesome no?

Oh, by the way, I’m quite different from last time I think (: I’ve done things, the old me would never have had done. I’ve eaten! I’ve prayed, khatam my quran, did my homework, studied and many more! :D I feel more loved , acknowledged and appreciated (:

I inline now. Inline is extreme rollerblading :D I skate at mont Kiara, Taman Aman, Putrajaya and Shah Alam. I’ve skate friends too! They are Fathhie ( fatty) , Fakhrul and Harris (:

Fathhie and I are the best of friends, the calmest of lovers and the coolest of acquaintances. He’s 20 this year and is studying the Canadian Pre – University program at Sunway University College :D He plans on taking psychology when he’s done with that.

<-- This is the apek XD

He’s part Japanese or at least that’s what we think XD He’s really never-ending XD I can’t stop talking when he’s around. OH HE HAS A BANTAL BUSUK NAMED SAM :D I gave Sam his name, actually. HAHA Would I call it love or a piece of emotion/affection? HAHAHAHAHA We all know that I can’t love a human (; So, i don’t know . But right now, I miss him. A LOT.

I fell apart , but got back up again yeah..