Half-time

So, lately I’ve been thinking about my sexuality.

I confess to you (myself) that I am blatantly not a straight woman. Nay, I am the ever-so controversial bisexual. My best friend is a guy. I think he’s disgusting. Odd? I don’t think so. You see, I saw his face everyday for one whole week, slept nest to him at Cameron Highlands, watched star wars with him and watched men gymnastics when we were supposed to watch football. GAY EH?

Point here is, that I think what I’m doing is wrong. I shouldn’t be bisexual. I should be straight. I can get boys. Its not exactly a problem –.-“ But then I think… I can get girls too. The situation is awkward. I’m in a girl school.

I think I’m influenced by Dano. AAHAHA funny? no. He looks at women and their assets. I turn bi again because i started to re-appreciate women beauty.

NO. I don’t see my beauty. I contradict people when they say I’m easy on the eyes. No. Stop lying.

ANYWAYS. I’m bisexual. I like a girl. I also like a boy. Please understand my deviation. I’m human too.

Goodnight (:

Oblivion

A wise man once said that a hypocrite is the person judging. we judged. Our love is a platonic one.

How apathetic you looked when i first met you. How blur and eccentric. For a person who used a math book to write English essays, you were incredibly witty when it came to jokes and mathematics. oh, ostentatious I thought you were. Definitely to stay away from. Definitely trouble and angst.

Fate said otherwise though, the minute we started talking, we couldn’t stop. Soon enough, after every tuition class we’d spend time talking to each other outside while waiting for our ride home. Soon enough we became really good friends.

I’m not so sure how you became my best friend darl, but I know how we got close It was on msn XD then my raya open house. We click so well. But I guess, what made us best friends was the week that I SAW YOUR UGLY FACE EVERY BLOODY DAY and that was my birthday week (: You planned a surprise party for me. haiiihhh. It made my world . It really did . I’m not lying, bitch.

In conjunction to that there’s also new years.Gosh I remember how pathetic you were. You called to say that you ran away from home. That was so close to midnight. I was all the way in ipoh attending a wedding. I was so worried and as they say, what you do during new years eve till new years day , that’s what you’ll be doing the whole year. I find that statement so true because YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW HOW TO WORRY ME ALL THE TIME, BEST FRIEND.

Then , there was also your ex – girlfriend and my ex – boyfriend. I hated her. You had a bad feeling about him. We never told each other until it was over. Now what we learned was always tell each other cause WE BOTH HAVE GAY-MATERNAL INSTINCTS for each other <3 awwwww we’re so sweet , can die. If you’re reading this, please understand that I think my attachment to him was definitely deeper than yours to her. I guess mine was too full of passion and yours, ignorance. LETS TELL EACH OTHER NEXT TIME. NOW, i command you to love your current girlfriend because she’s the one i wanted you to be with all along ever since i introduced you people! OKAY?!

Other than that, there’s also 2 days in Cameron Highlands. Me with a sick heart and you with a cold XD haihhh, the sunrise that day was really pathetic. We didn’t get to see the sun at all ! XD But we did talk. A lot. Too much, too little. I don’t know. But I’d gladly do it again because of the trees i saw  

Hey best friend,

You really are different and an ass. Then again, that’s why we click so well. I’m different and an ass too , to you right? –.- Well, lets look out for each other eh?

You’re like family now. I can’t imagine living my life without you. You’re too BLEAH. I see orange and think of you. I EAT , DRINK AND BAKE carrots while smiling cause i know you’re hurting because you are carrots XD

Then, there’s always the YELLOW CURSE following us. I LOVE It. You want to damn it to hell. But hey, if i can take on carrots, you can take on yellow. We’re too cool like that XD

By the way, you are lame. I don’t know why you’re my best friend since you’re lame but you are LAME LAME LAME LAMEOOOO . You lame-nista, lame-uel, Lame-khan, LAME. Not forgetting about retarded. HAHA

Well, king of chemisery, I’m done here. Can’t believe i wasted my time writing about you. Fine maybe i shouldn’t reprove you of my writing. It is after all my time. Well, this just shows how lucky you are to have a tree.

byee~ (:

p.s : I love you best friend. Don’t you dare deform my yellow or trees. Your balls will lose all of its sperms and your sperm duct will cease to work. I am not joking

P.S.S : BARNEY STINSON FTW.

Matters of lust.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in love, fell out of love or never felt love. What matters is your own identity. Before you love someone, you have to love yourself. To give yourself away to a person means that you are confident that no matter what that person does to you, you will never lose your self respect. Nor will you ever stop loving your own self.

Don’t be fooled by the men around you. Especially teenage boys. All they want from girls is to quench their thirst for lust. They say ‘I Love You’ but they never mean it. These boys will do anything to get into your pants/skirts. Maybe not literally but they’ll just make you fall hard with touch and passionate kisses. You lust for them too. So don’t use your heart girls. Not until you’re 24 years old. Date? Go ahead. Just don’t fall in love. Its not real. Its just puppy/lustful love.

No warning Signs, No alibis.

He came and went like a hurricane. I thought he cared, I thought he had soul , I thought I had his heart. No, I was horribly wrong. I was unprepared for what awaited me. LOL

Form 5 is extremely stressful!

Sri Aman is stressful.

Form 5 IN Sri Aman = Mother of mofo-ing mofos, stressful (:

I ain’t complaining. I’m always stressed. It’s my way of life. XD

There’s a drama coming up! Its called SHORTS! I’m acting in it! :D

I’m acting in The Landlady as the landlady (: Awesome no?

Oh, by the way, I’m quite different from last time I think (: I’ve done things, the old me would never have had done. I’ve eaten! I’ve prayed, khatam my quran, did my homework, studied and many more! :D I feel more loved , acknowledged and appreciated (:

I inline now. Inline is extreme rollerblading :D I skate at mont Kiara, Taman Aman, Putrajaya and Shah Alam. I’ve skate friends too! They are Fathhie ( fatty) , Fakhrul and Harris (:

Fathhie and I are the best of friends, the calmest of lovers and the coolest of acquaintances. He’s 20 this year and is studying the Canadian Pre – University program at Sunway University College :D He plans on taking psychology when he’s done with that.

<-- This is the apek XD

He’s part Japanese or at least that’s what we think XD He’s really never-ending XD I can’t stop talking when he’s around. OH HE HAS A BANTAL BUSUK NAMED SAM :D I gave Sam his name, actually. HAHA Would I call it love or a piece of emotion/affection? HAHAHAHAHA We all know that I can’t love a human (; So, i don’t know . But right now, I miss him. A LOT.

I fell apart , but got back up again yeah..