Essence of Diversity

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Brittle

On some days, I get the feeling of extreme loneliness,

Life suffocates me with in contempt and scorn,

I jump and fall into the same abyss,

I look up and see light and liberty,

But faraway they are, like Atlantis and Emerald city.

I’ve not had a day of it, unfortunately, I’ve had a week of it.

Some say I am a lucky person. I have a Family whom loves me and lets me be who I am with a very agreeable limit, I am financially acceptable and I have a supposed man whom is supposedly in love with me. The real question now is ‘why’. Why am I so ungrateful and sad when I have everything? Well, to pop that bubble is easy. Nothing in this world is really what it seems. People have so many facades and personalities that one simple would not have the strength to remember.

What has actually brought me down to the point of writing a blogpost about it is, a dinner with my dad. We had a massive fight. When I got home, all I wanted to do was love and be loved. Remembering that I have a special friend, I instant messaged him how much I appreciated him. Well, it didn’t go well. He picked a fight with me as well. Imagine how I felt… Great isn’t it? Yes, yes my life is wunderbar. Now that was a few days ago. I let him cool off and started approaching him again.

Just minutes ago, we fought again. To me, it seems that everything I do to self improve is a terrible consequence to him. I feel like he does not want to accept me for who I am anymore. He just wants a normal girl who will bow down to every word he says. This is bad. For me and for him for the sake of our relationship. These fights happen so frequently about the same thing up till, my mind has drifted. I have thought about a life without him. A life of liberty. As a person with a very different personality, I get along better with boys and I find them more agreeable to have a discussion with than girls. Earlier in our courtship, I have already told him this fact and he said that he would accept that. Now he is backing out on his word.

You know what? It isn’t even worth it to type it down. I don’t have to care about him and I don’t have to accept this. Whether I do or do not is my choice.

Being alone isn’t so bad anyway. I did it for the first 17 years of my life. Love is a myth. Cupid is a mythology.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Resurrection

The title does the talking for me.

Recently, I have gone thru another whirlwind and got out of it. Fairview International School is not what it is made out to be. It is a school not a college thus making the college program, International Baccalaureate unsuitable to be studied there. It is also a money making business. Hypocritical. I hated it.

Now I have been induced into the University of Nottingham and I feel happier and more stable. I love this place.
It is giving me everything FIS couldn’t and wouldn’t give me.

Its a new hope for me. A new life. A resurrection :)

Hayani Ishan

Thursday, November 29, 2012

An essay.

2) Desire to learn and aspire to make it a better world.

I quote Martin Luther King Jr:
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

Good day I bid to all whom are reading this. I have been asked to write about my desire to learn and aspire to make it a better world. Therefore, I have decided to write or should I say type, about a little big dream of mine.

       Malaysia is a wonderful country with an expanding economy and progressive developments. Malaysia is a unique and admirable country that grants people of all races to practice any religion they want. In my opinion, I would call Malaysia, an open-minded country.
    Sadly, I cannot say the same about most countries in the world as some shun certain religions and their practisers’. I would like to put Islam in the spotlight, as it is the most controversial religion now.
For example, I recall in 2010, there was an attack on the IRS Building in Austin, Texas, by a 53-year-old software Engineer named Joseph Stack. He intentionally crashed a plane unto the building. His actions were the united Nations definition of instilling fear unto people or in short, terrorism, but he was not dubbed a terrorist. Reportedly, an US official said that Mr Stack was not dubbed a terrorist for he was not a Muslim. That report shocked and alerted the world about the close minded-ness and hypocrisy of Americans.
   Like Martin Luther King Jr. I have a dream. A dream that one day all men are seen as equals no matter what race or religion they are. For that dream, I have a burning desire to learn all I can about history, politics and many more subjects that are relevant.
My desire to learn started when I was a child. At the age of seven, I watched 9/11 on television. I was confused at why the plane was flying so low and thought that it was just an accident. I turned to my parents for answers, when they said that it was not an accident but a planned attack I was even more confused on why anyone would want to kill so many people. What were they thinking? Don't they have families to? Don't they feel remorse? I had endless questions that even my parents could not answer.
    Therefore, that was how I started wanting to learn. That was how I started asking questions and was aware of the worlds' absurdity. Until today, I have this desire to learn about the minds of these people no matter whom they are and where they come from. I want to learn and be as well educated as possible to achieve my dream because the greatest weapon anyone and everyone can ever have is education. With that weapon in my arsenal I can , hopefully, change the world to a more open and constructive mind-set rather than their already destructive one. With that weapon, I can make the world a better world.

-Hayani Ishan-

Friday, August 31, 2012

Ali.

My pillar of strength is leaving me for University. The boy whom I left everything and everyone I lived for in High-school to protect him is leaving me and although he is supposed to leave tomorrow, he is still fickle over which university to go to.
Typical him –.-“
But he is the only one I have left. He is the only reason why I get up and put on a brave face for. He was the reason why I walked towards home when I ran away. He is the reason why I have not given up on the program I am in.
I do wonder how I’ll survive because I hate technology. It makes me feel further away from him because although he can be on my laptop screen, but in the end, I’d still feel like a fool who talks to metal and plastic.
His hugs are very important to me.
He makes me feel secure and safe. So, i guess without him that feeling should be gone right? Well yes. I feel like a sitting duck in a cross-fire but I will definitely toughen up because I know he wouldn’t like it if i kept on feeling this way (Y)

So anyway, I hope he takes good care of himself there. He’s at a good university and I’ll definitely be supporting him all the way :D

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

To achieve is to believe

The other day, I was checking my twitter stream and i found that a lot of people that I know are getting more and more negative about , not only themselves but, the whole world in general.

The say the words.

I can’t

Don’t you just detest those words?

When you start a sentence with a negative, the results will almost definitely be negative.

Live better, try a neutral. Use the magic word,

I TRIED

If you do, people will be more open to what you say. They will listen or read on and think about it. This way, you get an honest , opinion-based answers instead of a constant compelled negative reaction.

Don’t bring yourself down :) There are people who love you! What am I talking about? well, your parents have not turned you out of the house, have they? They still love you (Y)