Worries :O

Lately, I’ve been worried about many things.

For example like the upcoming Musical Production that I am directing. We had an audition on monday and I must say , very , very few Sri Amanians can act.

Other than that there’s also quite a few people who worry me. I mean I’m not their mother or what but I do care for them.

Muhammad Azim ‘Carrots’

He worries me. Like what if suddenly he runs again and his phone battery is dead and i can’t pick him up. Or if I’m not around. DUDE, I can go nuts. But whatever lah. He’s a dude, he can take care of himself right? –.- I just hope he doesn’t get kidnapped, gang raped or hurt in any way possible.

Adline Anissha Joachim

She worries me like hell. She’s extremely emo. I mean I was like that but not to the point of thinking to electrocute myself. Cutting is normal. Other than that, she doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep. Morning, pergi main Football then do olahraga. Can die actually. I feel like shaking her and scream ‘ WAKE UP! THERES THE WORLD TO SEE! TREES TO CLIMB ! MOUNTAINS TO CONQURE! WE PROMISED WE’D GO BUNGEE JUMPING TOGETHER REMEMBER??!’ Yeah, i might just do that soon, then I’ll hug her. *worries*

Muhd. Danial ‘Dano’ Akmal

This is a different worry. I love this guy. He’s my REALLY GOOD AND CLOSE friend. He has taught me so much. Rescued me from many attempts at suicide. Now I fear that we’re drifting. I fear that I’ll lose him as a friend. I don’t want that. I need him. He’s my Jerry, barney (Stinson), He’s my Bino Bambeeno. Dude, he gave me LIFE. Literally. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. Doesn’t asks me to chill out with him. He just goes to the others. I feel so deserted. Like a cactus. I miss him terribly. I miss talking to him. I miss running from him for fear he might grope me. I MISS DANO.

I also worry about myself. I usually find myself so weak and tired. no spirits. No laughter. No smiles. Nothing. I just stare into space. When I wake , i usually find myself crying or aching all over. I wear my mask so easily. Like my classmate says, I belong in the drama club. I have no mood to study. No enthusiasm. No curiosity. I feel so plain. I want to sleep but I can’t. I can’t taste food. I just put the food in my mouth and swallow because i don’t want my mum to notice. I feel sad and lonely.

Go on, say it. “ You’re not alone, I’m here!” hey, thats not what I meant. I am NOT alone. I’m just lonely. And I feel like I’ve no intention in life. I don’t know what to do, to be, to see, and to feel. I need guidance but no one has the time to give that to me.

I need an adrenaline rush.